Mysterious Fireball in the Texas Sky

Officials are baffled, but some blame the nearby chili cook-off.

Beware of Military Robot Rebellion

Not to worry, that's just delirious paranoia from... the Office of Naval Research.


"'There is a common misconception that robots will do only what we have programmed them to do,' Patrick Lin, the chief compiler of the report, said. 'Unfortunately, such a belief is sorely outdated, harking back to a time when ... programs could be written and understood by a single person.'" Uh oh.

Two Satellites Collide at High Speed

We heard the Russian satellite was totally riding the Iridium's bumper when they both hit that icy patch in the atmosphere.

Leading Cloning Researcher Dies at 49

Insert obvious joke about whether he cloned himself in time here.

Physicists Call Creating Dark Matter "No Big Deal"

The same guys said creating little black holes was nothing to worry about. And we're still here, aren't we?

Biologists Swear Up and Down They Won't Clone a Caveman

Yes, they have reconstructed the Neanderthal genome. But they're certainly not planning to clone a Neanderthal. Nope. Hadn't even occurred to them.

Prehistoric 43-Foot Super-Snake

They're calling it... wait for it... "titanoboa."